Movie Review: Immortals

Immortals with new D-BOX experience is hardly an experience
Rating: 2.5/5 Stars

Immortals brings the classical world back onto the silver screen with a reimagined story about the Greek hero Theseus. Embellished with battle cries and severed body parts, the movie is enjoyable entertainment but is far from spectacular.

For those who aren’t familiar with the new D-BOX system, it is the latest addition to movie theatres to help enhance the viewers’ experience and make it feel like they are actually a part of the film. And at only $21.99 for a 3D D-BOX ticket, you too can experience a moving seat that vibrates, raises, lowers and jerks in accordance to what is happening on the screen.

It’s not worth the money. Sure it’s fun for about the first 15 minutes when it feels like you’re on a ride at Disney World, but soon you forget you are even in this special moving seat.

The storyline for Immortals is a mash up of names from Greek mythology and words that sound like they could be Greek. Essentially, the mortal Theseus (Henry Cavill, The Tudors, and our latest Superman incarnate), chosen by the gods because “he does not fear pain or humiliation”, is supposed to defeat the tyrannical King Hyperion (Mickey Rourke, Sin City, The Expendables) whose army of masked soldiers is laying waste to the Hellenic world.

The plot gets no thicker than that, although it does get personal when Hyperion murders Theseus’ mother. Hyperion seeks the Epirus bow to release the Titans from Mount Tartarus in order to exact revenge on the gods for the loss of his family. He is the basic stock-type bad guy.

Director Tarsem Singh presents a very stylized and almost minimalistic version of Greece and Olympus. There are times when it’s hard to believe that the setting is supposed to be Greece. The sets for the film consist of a bizarre infusion of post-modern architecture with splashes of something that looks Greek. Some walls are adorned with fish hangings and kylix inspired murals, which simply make it look like bad interior design.

The gods on Mount Olympus (who have been scaled down to six) are also featured in this same stylized fashion. Garbed in all gold, these divinities look like they came straight out of a modeling agency.

Along Theseus’ journey, he meets up with Phaedra the virgin oracle (Freida Pinto, Slumdog Millionaire), whose visions of the future help guide them on their quest, Stavros the thief (Stephen Dorff, World Trade Centre) and a monk (Greg Bryk) who remains nameless as he cuts out his own tongue partway through the film (yet appears unfazed).

While the movie looks promising with this diverse group of characters, that is soon dispelled with the overemphasis on graphics, special effects and zero emphasis on character development.

Sure, the landscapes look stunning and fantastical and the fight scenes are well choreographed and bloody. But would it hurt to add some depth to the cardboard characters? They’re so thinly developed that a slight breeze could blow them over.

Character interaction is mediocre at best, and this is highlighted with possibly the world’s worst sex scene between Cavill and Pinto; so much for being the virgin oracle. The entire scene is awkward, mechanical and unrealistic. There is no chemistry between these characters and actors and their relationship seems forced and unnecessary.

The upside to all of this though, is that Rourke as Hyperion makes for a very enjoyable and sadistic villain. While his motives are unoriginal and cliché, Hyperion’s lack of mercy and unique way of killing his prisoners and subordinates is quite interesting.

Immortals does not follow the typical story of Theseus, or Hyperion for that matter – who is actually a Titan, not a human king. So while there is no Minotaur, there is a man with a metal bull’s head who tries to kill Theseus; that’s close enough, right?

The hype this movie inspired did not come close to matching the actual product. Advertising was sure to market the film’s production team, which also previously worked on 300, yet Immortals possesses none of the finesse and subtlety that 300 had. The Frank Miller adaptation far outweighs it in character development, acting, storyline and even score.

As a leading man, Cavill is inspiring, but he is no Leonidas.

The film leaves the audience wanting more; more fighting, more internal conflict, more grandeur. For example: the final battle (for the mortals) takes place in a hallway the size of a walk-in closet. This makes for a very difficult viewing session.

For the Olympians though, their final battle is against hundreds of mini-Titans who look like they just arrived from the set of The Grudge. While the gods are great fighters, they have no powers other than some toy weapons and super strength, which is a big disappointment. Zeus is not Zeus without some form of thunder.

Immortals is enjoyable, yet not memorable. But hey, at least it’s not as bad as Clash of the Titans.

For more, check out:
The Underground: http://www.the-underground.ca/author/leigh-cavanaugh/
The Messenger: http://theutscmessenger.com/?tag=writer-leigh-cavanaugh

Photo courtesy//http://www.facebook.com/immortals

The Underground

Student Talk: what's the worst gift you've been given?

     I was in middle school when my friend asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told her Christina Aguilera’s album My Kind of Christmas would suffice. Yet she ended up buying me a dust-collector: a stuffed snowman with a weight in its feet so it stood on its own. I told her that I liked it. So while it is the thought that counts, sometimes the gifts themselves just aren’t very thoughtful.

5. The joke
     While she did not receive a bizarre gift herself, Carly Carroll, a 22-year-old worker at Cineplex Odeon, was the giver of an odd present. She once gave both her sister and mother coal for the holiday season. “It wasn’t even because they were ‘bad’, I just thought it was funny,” she said.

4. The undesirable
     Aracely Reyes, a fourth-year drama and English major at UTSC, received a huge package from her aunt for Christmas one year. “It was deceptive because I thought it was a large cream kit or travel bag,” said Reyes. But it turned out to be a tray for baking cookies. “[This was] something I didn’t need. It was disappointing.”

3. The childhood nostalgia
     Nicole Rollon, a second-year English major at UTSC, was in grade 10 when her father gave her a Barbie doll. “I said thanks, but I ended up donating it,” she shared. Parents and grandparents, who still baby their children, are stuck in the past. But while nostalgia is all the rage during holiday season, remember to be age-appropriate while gifting.

2. The impulse buy
     Georgia Williams, a third-year journalism student at UTSC, once received Elmo bubble-bath from her mother. “I was 16 and I got a bunch of stuff for a six year-old,” said Williams. “All I wanted at the time was music and clothes. [My mother] said when she was shopping she thought these things were cute.” Even though the clearance section might look like a good bet when you’re running low on time, remember, you’re not buying for yourself but for someone else.

1. The disappointment
     Albert Milaim, a student at the University of Ontario Institute of Technology, enjoys playing video games, yet it was the same year that the new Xbox 360 came out that he received his worst holiday present from his grandparents. “After ripping off the packaging [I found] the ugliest sweater that I have ever seen,” said Miliam. “It was dark orange, way too big for me and the material was extremely coarse and scratchy…To this day I have never worn the sweater, but I’m unwilling to throw it

out.”

     So just take an extra second this holiday season and ponder on your choices. After all, who wants a lump of coal under their tree?

For more, check out:
The Underground: http://www.the-underground.ca/author/leigh-cavanaugh/
The Messenger: http://theutscmessenger.com/?tag=writer-leigh-cavanaugh